I've got a S&W 686 chambered in 357mag with... somewhere between a 2 and 4 inch barrel. It's got some heft to it, but fits my hand real nicely and feels perfectly balanced (to me). It's recoil is somewhat workable in the heavy frame. Time between shots in a encounter situation probably wouldn't be optimal. It's moderate size makes it workable for carry... and the round is a workable man stopper
(with 7 shots, too). I also love the gun to bits, including the sight picture. Clover time!
I personally chose to go with a semi auto pistol for my eventual carry (no license yet, not good enough IMHO to comfortably handle it for even the shooting part of the test). The extra rounds available in a magazine is handy. Not that you're looking to get into a massive fire fight or anything - but it's better to have and not need, than to need and not have. I've already got my pistol (a sig p229, didn't care for glocks, and 1911's were a tad large)... and it can do either 40S&W or 357Sig on a barrel switch out. I'll have to fiddle with both cartridges to figure out which I prefer.
As others have stated, use a weapon you're comfortable with... along with a round that's powerful enough to get the job done (ie: avoid .25 auto hehe). I too suggest the Bullet Hole. A moderate selection of weapons you can try out. Bring your Permit to Purchase. I'd suggest one of their Springfield XD's in .40, one of their Glock's and perhaps some 9mm if ya feel like it (i hate 9mm personally). They have revolvers available as well.
I think, with being picky, I can reload 40S&W for $5 per box of 50. Don't recall the price on 357mag.