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Author Topic: "The Gift of Fear"  (Read 1272 times)

Offline ILoveCats

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"The Gift of Fear"
« on: January 07, 2014, 10:34:28 PM »
For those of you good folks who teach concealed carry classes and/or other personal safety classes, I wonder if you’ve ever encountered the book, “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker.  I stumbled across it a few weeks ago at the library, and just finished it up.

I won’t bore you all with a ‘book report’ here.  You can read all about it on Amazon if you’re interested. 

http://www.amazon.com/Other-Survival-Signals-Protect-Violence/dp/0440508835/ref=sr_1_1/182-6694662-3848613?ie=UTF8&qid=1389154474&sr=8-1&keywords=the+gift+of+fear+book 

But I will go so far as to call this a book ‘recommendation’.

It’s not a perfect book, and the author’s slightly boorish and grandiose writing style gets a little tiring after a while, but I believe it’s absolutely worth skimming through if you’re in the self-defense-training business.  If nothing else, his core premise – that people are extraordinarily well designed to be highly perceptive to danger, and we stupidly ignore that perception because we’re afraid of looking (fill in the blank… foolish… paranoid… racist… politically incorrect… etc.) – is worth much consideration. 

He also has some sections, e.g. on social indicators that someone is trying to manipulate you, that I found not only relevant to personal safety, but lower-stakes matters such as office politics, or dealing with one’s mother-in-law.   ;D

"Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder." ~ FCK

Offline Lorimor

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Re: "The Gift of Fear"
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2014, 03:55:09 AM »
He (DeBecker) comes across as anti-civil rights, as in, he doesn't understand and support the 2A but otherwise, it's a good read and worth your time.
"It is better to avoid than to run; better to run than to de-escalate; better to de-escalate than to fight; better to fight than to die. The very essence of self-defense is a thin list of things that might get you out alive when you are already screwed." – Rory Miller

Offline ILoveCats

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Re: "The Gift of Fear"
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2014, 10:41:51 AM »
Agree, and thanks for the valuable clarification!  This is not a 2A-related or gun-related book per se, and hopefully I didn't come across as pitching it as such.

Rather, I'd define it as an imperfect book with a few very interesting psychology concepts, upon which people in the personal defense business could build and elaborate.
"Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder." ~ FCK

Offline JTH

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Re: "The Gift of Fear"
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2014, 01:39:24 PM »
Agree, and thanks for the valuable clarification!  This is not a 2A-related or gun-related book per se, and hopefully I didn't come across as pitching it as such.

Rather, I'd define it as an imperfect book with a few very interesting psychology concepts, upon which people in the personal defense business could build and elaborate.

de Becker has some very good stuff---the problem with his work is that he isn't particularly consistent, and has a poor view of any singular person's ability to defend themselves.  The parts that ARE really good in his work have to do exactly with what you've noted---indicators of attacks and behavior types.

Pretty much ignore anything he says about _actually_ defending yourself, but read carefully what he says about how to be aware, and what to notice in given situations. 

I've given out a lot of copies of The Gift of Fear over the years.  :)

You'll find that most people in the self-defense business (as opposed to the gun business) have read that book, and pull parts of it for use in seminars.   It is actually a really good indicator to judge if an instructor teaches self-defense, or just teaches some weapon/empty hand techniques and calls it self-defense---if they haven't read this book at some point in time, that should tell you something.

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