Concealed carry around your kid

[unfy]

What... how... should... hm.  What to do concerning concealed carry when you're with your young children ?


I recently got my permit in the mail this week.  It's been... interesting.  Amazing how much more you pay attention to everything knowing how much more dangerous everything is wherever you walk, simply knowing that there's at least one live weapon in every situation.  I used to pay attention to everything before, but it feels quite different now.

I thought I was doing good at preparing myself for many situations and realities of carrying... but... apparently something escaped me.

Anyway, one of the primary reasons for getting a permit was to be able to protect my 7 year old son if the need arose.  There have been a few times throughout this past spring and summer where I was very uncomfortable in a few situations.  While we did skeedaddle, and will continue to skeedaddle... I didn't like feeling helpless if things went sideways before we could get away.

I only have my son on weekends, typically every other weekend. Sometimes more frequently but, sadly, usually less frequently.... I tend to work a lot .

He's almost 8, and I have the great fortune of still being one of his favorite play toys (maybe even more so than his video game systems!).  We go to parks often, play inside the house (games, with cars, balls, whatever), etc.  At home, I obviously have all of the weapons doubly-locked up to make sure he can't get into them, and instead keep a golf club near my bed. 

But... if we go out and about... I'd have the weapon on me.

I've been teaching him gun safety and how they work and how dangerous they are every month for the last year, and he's been a great student.  Education / instruction being one of the greatest tools for safety and all of that.

I suppose the questions I need to ask are:

* he needs to know I have it on me, right ?
* are kids likely to spurt out that "my dad over there has a gun" ?  even if he's been repeatedly told to NEVER say that ?
* how do i stop him from talking about it, if he does need to know i have it on me ?

Not telling him seems dangerous in that he might do something silly (kids will be kids), or may not understand if i start barking orders what's going on.  But -- having him talk about the fact that I have a weapon on me seems like it'd cause a nightmare.  i would think it might possibly be something for a kid to gloat about or something.

* what ... 'oh ****' instructions should i focus on drilling into his head ?
** lie down / get on the ground ?
** go to ... XXX ? (door ? car ?)
** others ?
** should there be a "we are now in danger time" phrase ? suggestions ?
** i realize that in 'oh ****', he will most likely freeze, but i'd like to prepare him anyway

* any other major topics i've missed ?


.... or.... do i simply not carry around him ?

-Will

PS: saw word substitution in preview, 'oh guano' ROFL

[A-FIXER]

Well, I unlike many who believe our children should know everything. No....no need to tell him or anyone else for that matter and do teach him and any family member your safe word....when said they are to obey you at all cost without question. If you choose not to carry around him what would be your reasoning behind that? You are a legal citizen who has passed the background check beyond what most people would do and have passed the safety course, besides that what if you told your son and then tells your ex then you will possibly have another hassle that would be unnecessary and could cause you other problems. I do not believe the world needs to know if you carry or not it, and some people maybe tell others to promote a false being of power or such. Again it is only my take on this without having a indepth disscussion in person.

[NE Bull]

unfy;
Welcome to the SFSDC (single fathers self defense club)
I think it depends on each individual kid. as for mine, I've simply explained (one time)to them them why I have a weapon on me sometimes. (they live in omahorn, and watch the news, so they understand the world is not always kind). And explained to them that it was a 'secret' of sorts that no one else in the world needs to know about, but it is legal and I took classes and have a permit from the state.  They have each asked me once if I had my gun on me. I answered them with: "are you with me?"- 'yes' "are we in Omaha?- 'Yes.' "Then?...."  'ok, dad!' That was the end of that. Now they can even hug me around the waist, bump me, and it just doesn't phase them at all. One thing i do try to do is just not a big deal out of having it or putting it on. I'll go into another room to holster, etc.
As for how to act in a given situation, I really haven't went over any of that, would be a good idea, as long as it could be done without stressing the child.  

[Chris Z]

My older kids know that I carry, however I am careful to put it on and take it off when they are not watching.... They generally don't even remember that I carry (or maybe they just assume I always am carrying). I have a 7 year old, and he usually has no idea.

[DaveB]

I say carry, and carry all the time. It is none of your kids business what is in your pockets.

As far as training, there is no reason to not teach a seven year old about guns. You must be lucky in that your ex doesn't say no to guns. I would not let the ex know either, it is none of her business either.

Just pray that you are never in a situation that needs you to use it.

[Mike M.]

I never gave these questions much thought as my kids are adults now.I believe like Chris they pretty much figure I am carrying all the time.One interesting thing I have noticed is that if my wife puts her arm around me and feels it she will then take my hand. Not sure if this is so I have better access to it or what.The guys above have given very good advice and the only thing I think I can add is during your teachings stress to never touch a gun that he has found and if found on you to not to say anything.I believe that he will pay no attention to it once he realizes what it is for.
The big thing to remember is,he is your child and you know him so what has worked for others may not work for you.So try our advice and some of your own ideas and you will come up with the perfect fit for you and your son.Good luck and be safe.

[sjwsti]

First off ,carry your gun everywhere you legally can. It does you no good at home or in a glovebox.

Your son, being 7, doesnt necessarily need to know you have it on you but he does need to know that there is a plan of action if something bad happens. Obviously this plan will be dependant on the age and maturity of the child.

He needs to be made aware that he may have to hide or run away while you deal with a problem. Practice this. If he has a cell phone practice calling 911 and talking to a dispatcher.

Keep in mind that no matter how much you train him, that children (and some adults) are unpredictable under stress. He may do exactly what you dont want him to do and it is dependant upon you to be ready for that.

Commands need to be simple, one or two words at  most. "Stay", "Go", "Run", "Hide".

There are techniques you can use stemming from excecutive protection that allow control of a person who may be panicked. You can direct them to escape all while shooting and moving. You should know these.

Ever practice moving and shooting while carrying a child ? I would bet most havent. There are ways to simulate this and it should be practiced by every CCW holder with small children.

You should never walk out of the house hoping nothing bad happens. Assume it will and plan accordingly.

- Shawn

[Mudinyeri]

The "individual kid" advice is the best advice anyone can give you.  No two kids are alike - regardless of whether they're the same age or live in the same house.

I'm also in the camp with the folks who've said your kids don't need to know everything.  My son is 10 and is very familiar with guns.  He and I go shooting every chance we get.  He knows the four basic tenets of gun safety and the reasons behind them.  He's not the kind of kid who would spout out, "Daddy's got a gun!"  Your son is different so I can't make specific recommendations for your situation based on my experiences.

[Ronvandyn]

All of my kids know I carry, we talked about it when I first got my permit.  I often open carry around the house and in the yard. 

The one special thing I did do with them all was tell them that this is something that we dont talk about to our friends.  I was very adamant about it, but as usual with special needs kids they sometimes dont listen very well.  I had my (at the time 15 year old) daughter ask me with all of her friends hanging around one day if she could see my weapon.  I took her off to the side and reminded her about that rule of ours, she has not done it again.  Reminding them once in a while IMO is pretty important (about not talking about it), some kids parents even here in Nebraska might freak out a bit if their kid comes home and tells them that so-and-so's dad carries a gun all the time. 

I also made a special point of letting all the LEO's that patrol in my area know about my permit.  They usually are stopping at the house about once a month as it is (special needs kids again, they are not real good about following the laws either), so letting them know up front that if they see me that they can count on the fact that I am carrying.  All of them, no exceptions, have been very supportive.  If I know that they are stopping by I usually lock it up just to make sure that they know I respect their apprehensions in this area, but if they see me on the street at least they are aware.  Also, if a stranger happens to see me carrying it tends to prevent those nasty "Man with a gun" calls that we hear about all the time.

Ron

[PhilK]

Being a non-custodial male parent, I have always been somewhat descrete when carrying around my daughter who was 7 when I received my permit and is now 10 going on 11.

My experience is that if I don't make a big deal about carrying, she doesn't think it's a big deal either.

The essence of the conversations we've had about it when she actually noticed that I was carrying (and typically the only time the weapon is unconcealed is when I have to secure it when we enter a "no guns zone") is this:  "When you're with me, it's my responsibility as your father to protect you from anyone who would want to harm you."

I'd give the same answer to my daughter's mother if the question about carrying ever came up.

P.S.  I do tend to carry smaller arms (9x18 or .38 Special) in pocket holsters that are easy to descretly transfer from pocket to trunk to pocket again.

[unfy]

I really do appreciate all of the replies and have been giving the topic a lot of thought as they roll in.  Hell, I even printed the thread so I can think about it and debate it with close family as well.

I will probably continue the general firearm training as well as using the narrowed / simplified list of commands... and I will probably not tell the kid about carrying, but just focus on 'do what daddy tells you to do'.

As far as the ex-gf and her family and all of that -- the ex and I are still good friends.  We just turned out to do better as friends than romantically involved.  Since the subject of carrying does involve her kid, she knows that I carry.  She's expressed the standard concern any parent would but appears fine with the matter.

Something that probably goes against most of the people's opinion here ... is that close friends and some members of her family I still frequently visit - I ask all of them for permission to carry into their house.  I don't feel like securing the weapon each time I visit one of them unless they're against me carrying.... and I won't walk into someone else's house if they're not aware that I might be carrying (it's akin to being polite to not smoke in a non-smoker's house).

Again, thanks for the feedback, guys!

[DaveB]

Personally I am okay with all but telling people you are carrying. It is concealed, that means nobody knows but you. Smoking is not concealed, they can tell if you have cigs in your pocket because you don't have to hide them. You might light up a cigarette, but you aren't just going to whip out a gun. It is all in how you want to handle it, just giving my opinion. As long as you are comfortable, carry on.